Thursday, December 4, 2008

it's been a long time

dear blog

I haven't write to you for a while.
There are many stories that I passed these recent weeks. And it seems, Blackberry could not help me much to not ignore my darling blog.

Anyway... Enough is enough. Let's start writing.
On Tuesday, I went to Jakarta with my boyfriend. I accompanied him to the airport, cos he would sent his goods to Ambon. Along the way, I looked at him, and I realize that how lucky I am to have him in my life. My mind flew to a time what would I be if I never meet him? Maybe I'm still a Daddy's little girl who knows nothing about struggle, about achievement, and about life. I kept saying this in my blog cos I'm very thankful to have him. He's on his way to 23, but his experience, his mental, his ideology, has gone too far from his age.

One thing that I never understand, why my Dad do not respect him? Just because he's not a multi-million dollar man? Or is it because he's not coming from a "big" family?
I never see a man from what cars he own and how thick his wallet, Dad. Cos those things don't last forever. I see a man from the way he treat me, his vision, his heart, his brain, his responsible. My boyfriend has it all. While everyone in his circumstances said that someday he'll be the next big thing, buthow come did you stay blind? Did he ever hurt you? Did he ever hurt me? NO. Please give him some respect. I'm glad that he's still patient regarding your behaviour. But what if someday he give up and leave me because of you? Can you bring me a better man? What kind of man should I have a relationship with? You're the one who said that money isn't everything, you're the one who said that I have to look for a grown up man who have a dream and trying hard to achieve it. Now I have him, but why you abandoned him?

Time goes by so fast, and if one day he propose me and you deny him, I'll run with him.
Dad, I just want to said one thing, if you sure that his future will be like you imagine, I mean 100% EXACTLY the same as you imagine (which consider that you're a God), then I'll be following you. If not, I'll go with him. He's the love of my life, he's my only lover, and he's the one whom I'll spend the rest of my life with. This called, a TRUE LOVE. Not like you & Mom. It's all a never ending drama. Everyone in our family always put the game face mode *on. Oh I have to be this, I need to be that, and all. But it's a shame that we can never be 100% ourselves!
No no, don't ever think that, you both are great parents, but I'm sorry to say that you're not the best. Best parents support their children, not just demand us to be A B C without supporting us. Best parents always tell the truth. Best parents hear what their children said and want. Best parents teach their children about life, and introduce them to a God. Best parents sacrifice for the sake of their family, not egoist.
I'm so grateful to have you in my life, but a parent also a human, who can make sins, who can do wrong. You're not perfect, Dad. Please let me express myself. I don't even have a freedom of speech! How can I get closer to heaven?

Please God, open my Dad's eyes.