Saturday, March 29, 2008

5th anniversary

current mood : HAPPY n IN LOVE

We've been through many things in this relationship. We cried together, we laughed together, we beat our parents together, we fight with our teachers together (remember that day, darlin?), we've been through many storms and disaster together.
Our love had been test million times, but we still together.

Are you the one for me baby?

5th anniversary

I can't remember when you weren't there

When I didn't care for anyone but you

I swear we've been through everything there is

Can't imagine anything we've missed

Can't imagine anything the two of us can't do

Through the years

You've never let me down

You turned my life around

The sweetest days I've found, I've found with you

Through the years

I've never been afraid

I've loved the life we've made

And I'm so glad I've stayed

Right here with you

Through the years

I can't remember what I used to do

Who I trusted whom, I listened to before

I swear you've taught me everything I know

Can't imagine needing someone so

But through the years it seems to me

I need you more and more

Through the years

Through all the good and bad

I knew how much we had

I've always been so glad to be with you

Through the years

It's better everyday

You've kissed my tears away

As long as it's okay

I'll stay with you.. Through the years

Through the years

When everything went wrong

Together we were strong

I know that I belonged right here with you

Through the years

I never had a doubt

We'd always work things out

I've learned what love's about

By loving you

Through the years

Through the years

You've never let me down

You've turned my life around

The sweetest days I've found, I've found with you

Through the years

It's better everyday

You've kissed my tears away

As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you

Through the years

5th anniversary

current mood : HAPPY!!!

Today is our 5th year anniversary!! Finally.....

After some hard years, we reach this 5th year.
Did I tell you that when 30 March 2003 our love became official at exactly 12 AM?
I wrote his a letter, that said "I do" in my own way. I wrote the letter that just can be read within a mirror. I gave him on 29 March and I told him that he couldn't open it before 12AM. He opened it, got confused cos my letter was "confusing". Then he got that "mirror" idea, so he finally read my messages. His sister told me that "he jump in his bed until everybody wake up! At midnight!" LOL...
Then he called me and that was it. Official!!
Here are some very first pictures, taken on 12AM 300308
PS : Thank you baby for the watch, really loved it!!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

thoughts for the day

No matter what you did, No matter who you are, No matter where you've come from, You can always change, Become a better version of yourself.

I love love love that quote, because she's saying that you will always be you...but that you can become a better version of you. She's not talking about becoming a different person, she's talking about you still being YOU but just a better version of you.

That's one of inspiring quote from M. I got a lot of quotes from M, she's inspiring me a lot. BTW, speaking abotut M, have you heard her new song, called "4 minutes"? That's really beat your ass!!!
Ch.. Ch.. Check it out!! LOL. (It's not the right video, though. Just listen to her new music!)

amy winehouse

current mood : back to black

Does anyone here like Amy Winehouse?

Or at least, ever heard her music?

I mean, everyone, my family n friends, they seem never know who the hell she is. And when I put on her CD in my player, they like "Eww stop it! Her voice hurts my ear".


I didn't understand why her music didn't get so much airplays here in Indonesia. She's brilliant! Most original voice and singer I've ever seen and heard for almost a decade, after Madonna (when the first time I saw her "Frozen" video back in 1998) .

You need to listen to her music. She's freaking awesome. And be careful cos she's addictive. LOL. I listen to her "Back To Black" and "Frank" cds all day long. On my way to campus, my way home, evertime when I'm in my car and ALONE. Cos no one really heard of her actually. She has this song-writing talent, which Britney and friends don't have. Well she's the mix of jazz, soul, blues, and lil'bit RnB. Congratulations for her recent Grammy winning. She won 5 awards! Jeez

I hope she's gonna be fine. Cos she's a crackwhore. LOL. I still love her though. I hope she can get herself together and make a new shit! Hope I can see her gig someday...
BTW here's the preview of her musics.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

our love story [PART3]


period : 300304 - 300305

God it's very hard to explain those moments! My 2nd year with him.. We had nothing to proud of. Our relationship was like a disaster. Been there, done that. Whatever we did, it always caused danger. We had a fight everywhere, just like cat and dog.
But why we can't be separated? That's the big question which always popped in my head whenever we had a fight. WHY?

Our love had been through many tests. I thought this period was the hardest.
One day my English teacher at school told me, that we'd have a big huge bomb disaster that would put my relationship to the test. If we'd go through this, maybe our love will last forever. If not, he said that this would be the end of my relationship. He noted that the problem involved many people, such as my family and his family. And once more, he said that my boyfriend didn't happy with our relationship, like a time-bomb that ready to explode.

I tried not to believe that, but believe it or not, this thing really happened.
I had this problem, my own problem. I used to be a very possessive person. I hate his smoking habit (although he quits now! Thanks God), I didn't let him go out with his friends, I didn't allow him to do his hobby (which I realize that's a positive hobby, compared to other man's hobby --> gambling, for example. He loves motorcycle). We must meet every single day. For short, I banned him from outer-world except ME.

There was this thing that really pissed me off! One night he said to me that he want to go to Pangandaran with his friends. Of course I didn't allow him. I scared, what would he do if I let him go? I thought he'd do crazy things with his friends. "No no no, I can't let him go" that's what my heart said that night. I told him that he shouldn't go, but he was very angry. And that was it.
That's the moment where he told me what's been on his mind, that he felt unhappy with our relationship, that I was more strict than his Mom! He told me that had a relationship with me was worse than life in a prison! I can see the storm deep in his eyes.
We had a big huge bomb fight (just like my teacher said). And it involved many people. Sorry but I couldn't tell you the rest of story. It was a personal affair :p But trust me, it was HUGE. I can see from my parent's tears.

OUCH that's the most painful moment I've ever been with him. But it's like a wake up call to me because I finally realized how I really hurt him, and treated him bad. He was just trying to be patient because he loved me. He said that he can left me anytime he want, but he didn't do that because he thought I would change. I really melted. I blame myself for those things. I wanna kill myself that time. Hopeless, and full of regret.

Fortunately I surrounded by people who really care for me, and understand me. They helped me to recovered myself. I had a break with him, but it only last less than 24hours.
I still surprised, how can my relationship survived after all those things?

Finally we decided to meet (after 2 days in horror!) and talked from heart to heart, calmly.
I apologized to him, from my deepest heart. I admitted that I've been wrong. He heard my confession and he said that he still loved me and never want to lose me. He hoped I'd change for him. I said that bad habits die hard :p But he said that he accepted me whoever I am.
Thank God he given me a second chance to changed myself. I wouldn't erase all words that came from his mouth that day. That was one of the most important day in our relationship.

I found out the answer from my big question: We can't be separated because we're meant for each other. We always get back together, although our relationship is like shit.

Shame on me to write all this story. But I hope you can take the positive thing from my experience. You can't controlled men like a horse. Men are men. They're only human who needs freedom too. I never want to be in that situation again. Once is more than enough for me.

Our love had been test once again. And that was the hardest test we had been through. And guess what? We CAN THROUGH THIS :))

Friday, March 21, 2008

our love story [PART 2]

terrible yet beautiful year

period : 300303 - 300304

this period was an introduction period for our relationship.

We were having so much fun, yet having lots of troubles too..
The highlight on our first year was a "X FACTOR". Either me and D had a bad experience from our past. Things weren't going right because our X act like they wouldn't let us go. My X still called me a lot, so his X. I was like "ewwww..........". Finally one day, D told my X to stop communicated with me. And then he stop.

But the problem came from his X who seemed (still) couldn't let him go and find the new one, although they broke up because his X cheated on him with another man. *sigh. I don't know what's on her mind? Does she want 2 men at the same time? JERK!

I didn't comment a lot with this situation, of course I felt like, "WTF?" but I thought she'd be mature enough and decide to let him go. but Damn I wrong.

I don't want to talk about this X FACTOR. It's really annoying me to remember that.

Our love was hot as fire, we're so crazy in love and started to turn to be a bad influence for each other. Cos I often skip school, so did he.

This first year filled with so much love, and so much hate. It's like a "Love u but Fuck u" relationship for us. I thought that I'd end this. But I didn't know why, whenever we had a fight, we always back to each other. Shortly, we never broke up although we always fight every single week!!

I can't forget the way he celebrate our first anniversary..
He silently go inside my garden and then climbed to my room (my room is in 2nd floor of my home), yeap, on 12 AM! He knocked at my window, woke me up from my sleep (I thought there was a thief who tried to attack me! LOL). I opened my window and there was him. Stood up above my roof, and brought me a gift, and said "Happy 1st anniversary, blah blah blah... "
God I'm speechless.

But unfortunately, our 2nd year wouldn't as beautiful as I thought it'd be.

Wanna know more?

to be continued

Gosh I forgot to mention the best thing that happen in my first year with him:
He tattooed my name on his finger!
[click here] to see it!

Monday, March 17, 2008


current mood : happy

last Thursday we jetted off to Bali, to did a pre-wedding shoot.
It was the most hectic photo-session I've ever know, I personally felt exhausted. Can't imagine, how the bride and the groom felt! LOL.
Although I didn't catch enough time to indluged myself, like SHOPPING for example. LMAO.
Here are my journal at Bali ..

1st day March 13 2008
Arrived at Bali on 1.40 pm, then we lunched at one of Padang's restaurant near the airport, and then we're going to our hotel at Legian. Later that afternoon, me, aan, eric, my 2nd brother and his girlfriend, headed to the Kuta beach, just to fooled around at the beach LOL. Of course we did our own photo-session! LOL. We stayed there until sunset :)
At night we went to Legian, had dinner, and home. Ready for the crazy-photo-shoots-thing!!?

2nd day March 14 2008
My sis in law had a make-up on 4 AM! God!
After we had a breakfast at hotel, we went to Mangrove, spent half of our days there, lunched at Mc.D and then going to the Dreamland! Crazy day! Me, my brother + his girlfriend, and eric had a photo-shoots too by Boy (mr.Exodus) LOL. What bother me are there loads picture of mine, with swimsuit, and held Eric's hand. Boy asked us to did that. We were holding hand each other : My brother+his girlfriend, eric, me. Those shoots made me must hold eric's hand. But of course there were no feeling between us! He already has a girlfriend, so am I. Dieter's not gonna be happy! I'm afraid............... We'll see later. But things went really fast, till I realized that I've made a mistake.
After the beach shoots, we headed to our hotel, took a bath, and had a late dinner at Made's Warung. The -bride and groom- to be, back to the hotel, while me, my 2nd brother+his girlfriend went to Rosso Vivo and had a cocktail there :)

3rd day March 15 2008

I didn't join my brother for this photo-session. The make up artist said that I shouldn't join them because the place that they'd going to were so HOT and bored. So I tend to join my 2nd brother and played around. Firstly, we went to Ubud, Pasar Sukowati. There was interesting story, there was this Korean man wanted to took my picture. That was funny :)
At noon we lunched at Bebek Bengil! Delicious crispy duck :)) and then we're seperated cos I want to shop a lil'bit for my family in Bandung. So I went to Legian, and cash-out my money! LOL. Not that bad, actually :)
While others enjoy their dinners at Arena, I tend to stay at hotel and cleaned up my room, that full with my stuff! LOL.. Couldn't believe what I've just bought!

4th day March 16 2008
Last day at Bali. We went to musseum and Uluwatu. We didn't have much time, so we're going to airport. But on half our way, I remembered that I want to visit Joger, LOL. So we stopped at Joger, and I was like, WOW very crowded! I use my sale-skill! (sale-skill --> refers to my skill when the discount time comes, if you know what I mean! Haha!!) SUCCEED! I got t-shirts in a very short time :)

my own photo session - checked

running at the beach - checked

shop till I'm drop - erm.... checked

having so much fun - checked

But sadly, there's one thing left, my boyfriend.. He couldn't join us :( He picked me up at the airport, however..
Darling, when will our time?

Wait my photos!!! I'll post our pictures very soon. LOL
update #1 Those are some my fave moments at Bali. I won't post my scandal pictures (if it described as scandal, although IT WAS NOT!) , though :p

update #2 My worst nightmare seems turn out to be true. We had a big fight and it was all because those scandalous pictures! Why can he trust me? What's the point being in 5 years relationship? What we've been through so far? Doesn't he know that everyone made mistakes? I'm imperfect. I'm sorry... I really love you T_T

update #3 Great! Everything's clear now. Thanks for understanding me, TRUST me, that's the most important thing. Don't be over-protected honey, I'll be OK.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Lurve part II

current mood : in Love

There I go, there I go, there I go, there I go
Pretty baby you are the soul that snaps my control
Such a funny thing but every time your near me
I never can behave
You give me a smile and I'm wrapped up in your magic

Am I insane or do I really see heaven in your eyes?
Bright as stars that shine up above you
In the clear blue sky, how I worry bout you
Just can't live my life without you
Baby come here, don't have no fear
Is there wonder why?
I'm really feeling in the mood for love

Monday, March 10, 2008


current mood : in LOVE

I'm in love with you, you silly thing
Anyone can see..
What is it with you, you silly thing
just take it from me?

It was not a chance meeting,
feel my heart beating
You're the one..

Male Models Requirement

Nowadays modeling is not dependent for female’s only, however gays are also having enough requirement in the modeling industry. There is a regular requirement for male models for doing commercial, fashion modeling.

Just as female modeling, there are various male models requirement also like for body part, face part, teen and fitness. If we compare with male model, they are getting more chance then female model.

If you are thinking to become male model then, here the important requirements.

1) To become a model, age from 15 to 50 and plus. The demand for male model is different in small and big market, but highest demand is there for 25-35 age group models.

2) You should have strong look, good body and stylish hair. If you are having fashionable hair style it will help you lot. Don’t forget to become a successive model you should have good body and hair.

3) You should be having good height, however most fashion model are from 6 to 6’1. The minimum height you need if from 5’10 to 6’2.

4) Clothing size is standard around 40 regular – 42 long.

5) If you are having strong muscle and tone with strong abs. You muscle should not have plus size. It will be helpful to have muscular body, as different model requires different muscles size.

6) To become a male model you must give enough time for skin care. You should not have hairy body and not suffering from any type of hair disease. Your body must be hair-less and skin has to be smooth.

Sunday, March 9, 2008


congratz for my brother and my sister-in-law-(to be) --> very very soon!! LOL
March 09th 2008
our family and Maya's family meet at one of Chinese restaurant and they talked about marriage, blah blah blah...
So in a Chinese family, there's this tradition, where the woman's family invite the man's family to introduced each other's family such as their siblings, and their family member. And the man must buy the woman a jewelry (necklace I think), and bring an angpao to be given later to the woman.
Stuff like that, real cute. My brother was like, very nervous. He was very sweaty! LOL. Do situation like that make people get nervous easily? Like a nervous wreck. Ridiculous. Haa!

I don't realize that time really moves so fast, because my brother will be a married man in less then three months. And next Thursday, he'll go to Bali for a pre-wedding shoot. Of course I'll join them! LOL. They ask me to join, and I thought, why not? I personally want to see a hot spots in Bali, cos I'm sure the photographer will take us to different places, strange yet beautiful places. Can't wait!!!

Next year will be my second brother's year! He plan to marry at the end 2009. So when will my time? I'm queue..... LMAO! I'll post the pictures very soon! yay..

Friday, March 7, 2008

holy shiZ

current mood: terrible!

i made a big mistake again!!!!
i went to a salon and was trying to died my hair. I want a more natural color, I mean, black brown. Very deep brown. I chose this color, which was very dark brown. And 30 minutes later............
OUCH my hair wasn't come as I expected. It is rather blonde! No, not that blonde, but it's becoming a light brown! I'm so pissed off!!!!

Should I shave my hair bald? Like britney maybe?
I'm tired of this shizzz!

Sunday, March 2, 2008

our love story [PART 1]

If there's February 30th, then today is our 59th months anniversary. As a matter of fact, we're counting on our 5th year anniversary! Time moves so fast, where'd it all begun? Let me tell you our short story. I think it's funny to remember our "old times" and there were so many memories left behind! I'll start with the first time I saw him..

I met this naughty boy (he was still around 16 or 17 y.o.) at BSM, Mita brought him to me, yeap, she was the "cupid" or the "match-maker". She thought that it'd be funny if I be his girlfriend, because basically, our world is very different! My personality and his personality really like "Women from Venus and Men from Mars" (we've come from different planet!) And I just broke up with my ex boy (about 6+ months) and so did he. Mita thought that we were "high quality singles" and would be perfect if we'd together. I have no idea where this bullshit came from! LMAO!

My first thought? Ewww he was so naughty, with his weird behavior, his terrible sense of style, and his nose! I remembered his nose was very big! LOL. But there was one thing that made me think he was attractive, his sense of humor! For God's sake, he made me laugh! I mean, my friends do make me laugh too, but this guy was so different. He was weird, but on the other side, I thought he was attractive too :)) He took me home, and that was it. There's nothing special between us.

One of my girlfriend liked him. And I was like, supported her, cos I had no feeling at all that time. But unfortunately, she was moving from here to another continent and she threw a farewell party, BBQ time!!! Damn this is getting personal. Cos there were many people involved and I won't write all of them.

For short, this naughty boy chose me among others. Actually, there were many girls found he was attractive. When I came to his school, and watched him played basketball, there were those girls scream out loud his name. Me? I was just sit down on a chair next to his basketball court and chatted with one of his friend. Meanwhile those girls were turn mad, the game was got a break, and guess which girl he stepped in first? Me. The girls were like whispered each other and I was like... No I wasn't feel anything, cos I had no feeling to him.

After that time, he often came to my school and routinely came to my house at weekend. So I knew his personality, and he wasn't as bad as my first thought, he was kind, and he made me laugh. This phase went on about three months. As the time came by, my feeling for him increasingly well.

One night on March 9th 2003, he asked me to be his girlfriend. That time, I still didn't know what to do, cos I hadn't sure about this relationship, and I knew his ex-girlfriend would bring a disaster to my relationship (TRUE). But three weeks later, after I asked some of my fella, my sister, and also his sister told me that her brother has just fell in love with me, finally I answered his question "Yes, I do" It's March 30th 2003

I'll post later about my first to fifth year with him. Stay tune!! That will be HOT :))

to be continue