Thursday, January 31, 2008

Love is a Losing Game

For you I was a flame,
Love is a losing game
Five story fire as you came,
Love is losing game

I wish I never played,
what a mess we made
And now the final frame,
Love is a losing game

Played out by the band,
Love is a losing hand
More than I could stand,
Love is a losing hand

Self professed profound
Til' the chips were down
Know you’re a gambling man
Love is a losing hand

Tho' I'd better blind,
Love is a fate resigned
Memories mar my mind,
Love it is a fate resigned

Over futile odds,
And laughed at by the Gods
And now the final frame,
Love is a losing game

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

wake up alone

It's okay in a day, I'm staying busy
Tied up enough so I don’t have to wonder where is he
Got so sick of crying
So just lately

Run around just so I don't have to think about thinking
That silent sense of content
That everyone gets
Just disappears soon as the sun sets

Bothers my heart
I'd rather be restless
The second I stop the sleep catches up and I'm breathless
Got this ache in my chest
Cuz my day is done now
The dark covers me and I cannot run now

My blood running cold
I stand before him
It's all I can do to assure him
When he comes to me
I drip for him tonight
Drowning in me, we bathe under blue light

He's fierce in my dreams, seizing my guts
He floods me with dread
Soaked to the soul
He swims in my eyes by the bed
Pour myself over him
Moon spilling in
And I wake up alone

Friday, January 25, 2008

another wedding pAAArty

Last night I attended in one of the biggest wedding party I've ever known.. ever. So, this lucky parents have 3 children, and last night was their youngest son whom celebrate the wedding. The wedding took place at Sabuga (Aha! I bet y'all know who are they). I thought they invited at least 2000 persons, can you imagine that? The wedding party like that, is such an illusion, a dream.. Because I don't think everyone can be as lucky as them to throw a wedding party like that. Btw, since they have three children, so that was the third wedding party they've thrown in these 3years! And it's like a very fancy wedding party, with those celebrities MCs, and top-Indonesian singer, and bands, and designer. It's totally wow the crowd.
But deep down inside, I know this family member, cause they're one of my father's relative. To achieve such this amazing point in their life, of course they have to deal with sweat, blood, and tears. Cuz there's nothing instant in this world. I'm very admiring them, since their parents are kind and warm person, and not arrogant at all. They different from others' family who have a fortune. They're activist in church and all. They eventually deserve this. Four thumbs up!!

OK back to the "wedding" subject. Even though last night was very amazing, but I personally don't want my wedding goes like that. Because you know what, everybody seems not enjoyed the party because there were too many people and a lot of confusing.
Actually my dream wedding is just something which is simple but elegant, and I don't wanna invite too many people.. Garden party and beautiful ceremony. That's it. With the "all around the world" trip. LOL! I'd prefer something like that better than invite thousands of people whom I actually don't know who they are. And from my experience, most of them come to a wedding party just to enjoy the cuisine, not sincerely pray for the "happily ever after marriage" for the bride and groom. So.. I never imagine that, even in my wildest dream, to throw a wedding party like that.

Anyway, congratz for both of you! God will bless you in every step of your life. AMEN!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

happy birthday my little sister

Happy 15th birthday to you!
Can't believe you are fifteen
Back in the days when I took you in my lap
And changed your diapers

May you have a wonderful day :)
Be maturer; keep growing in GOD
I hope this year you'll find someone you love :p
Praying the best for you

Thank u for being such a nice sister
With all your plus and minus
I'll always love you anyway
God Bless You in every way

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

very sad news

News today isn't good at all. Amy Winehouse filmed smoking crack.. Heath Ledger found dead in his apartment. Blah blah blah.. What's going on in this world today? Seems everyone become a druggie. So sad.. Shame on them who have such a talent. Did fame and fortune change all their life?

OK it's not in celebrity world only. We, as a teenager, also had several problems like that too. Thank GOD me and my friends I know, don't do drugs. But I'm sure there are many teenager who do drugs. I think it's the worst thing to happen.

Actually one of my family member (not my brothers of course), ever used drugs for years. There's nothing left but his weak body, his weird behavior, and his mental illness. He used to live in my brother's house for years, my brother gave him a job, but unfortunately he couldn't use this opportunity to change himself. Then he back to drugs, and my brother told him to get out from his house. Thank God right now he's seeking for help, go to the rehab center and sees his doctor everyday to make sure that he's fine and he come back to work to one of my brother.
Take a look at his story, he's now not young anymore, and he has rebuild his life in this "not-so-young" age. I feel really sorry for him cause I know he's a nice guy and SMART. He wants to married too, of course. But I think it's pretty hard to find woman who will receive him the way he is, as a ex-junkie and all. All I can do is just praying for the best. Because regret always comes in the end.

So please please stay away from drugs. I've been in those situation, watched people suffering, arrested by cops, their nearly death experience. And that's not GOOD at all. It's not the reason why you put on this earth.
If you have enough money, use it for things that useful. HELP PEOPLE. Because you know what? In the end, when we stand in the GOLDEN GATE, God won't give a shit about how much money do we have, how big our power, and all that physical things, but how we treat people when we lived in this world.
Actually, LIFE'S TOO SHORT. We'll never know what will happen, even on the next five minutes.

There's a quote I'd love to share with all of you,
if you want happiness for hours, go shopping
if you want happiness for a day, go fishing
if you want happiness for a month, go traveling
if you want happiness for a year, be an heiress
if you want happiness for a lifetime, help people.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

I sick of holiday! Really want to get out of it!!
Maybe everyone loves holiday. I do love it too, but in a SHORT term. I mean, what should I do with this very long-term holiday? Yeap, it'll last on Feb 11. As a matter of fact, my holiday will end within 2 and a half months since my last exam! Eww..

I'm in talk about small business with my boyfriend right now. I hope this can be real. Cause I've been too boring and I've to do something useful than spend money everytime on foods, shopping spree, or other things.

BTW, my exam isn't bad after all. I'm pretty happy with that. Thank GOD.

Monday, January 14, 2008

bad hair day..ever!

I was having a bad time yesterday.
I went to a salon and tried to curl my hair. And it FAILED. It came really different with what I want and my hair are just getting dry now!

Maybe I'll smoothing my hair next month, or next week! I couldn't stand it! HELP

This is my first photo. What do ya' think? Leave your comments on my ChatBox. Really appreciate it!

Sunday, January 13, 2008


Do you know who the toughest girl I've ever met?
She's my boyfriend's sister. Can't believe what she has done. I'm not going to tell you the detail cause I am so sure that someday she will make her own autobiography book. Just read her book, OK? Her life is like a roller-coaster. Now is the part where she's climbing to the top of her dream. Wish I can be like her . . I know it's impossible. HA!

She's ambitious and brave. She's different from girls like us. She has a very adorable personality and it's inspiring me a lot, that women have the rights to speak up, to tell and achieve their dreams.

superb family

the only thing you can depend on is your family

this is my family portrait, excluding my 2nd brother. YES we are a HUGE family.

Thursday, January 10, 2008


My holiday will end on February 11. So it's a Looooonnngggggg way to go! And I don't do anything except play with my mates, go out with my boyfriend, go to the gym, eat and sleep! I'm so boring............... Can anyone gimme a job?

I've found it one : Cleaning up my closet! GOD I can't stand it. I took half of my dresses out of closet. Put it in my bed and BAM! What should I do next? I really need a walk in closet!
It will be in my wish list!

get married!

Everybody are getting married!!!!
I've attend in so many wedding party on these recent months! There are 3 friends of mine who will tie the knot too, this coming month.
OMG Is it an alarm for me to get married soon?


Wednesday, January 9, 2008


meet some friends can cheer up your day. REALLY.
Oops. The bad thing is, you'll gain your weight!!LOL

Monday, January 7, 2008


I need to change.
But how can I change?
The only way I can change is to constantly work at it.
Knowing is the beginning.
Knowing more and learning more and achieving more.
The minute you stop wanting to know more, that's when you stop growing
And that's when you die.
And that's when you're nothing.

New Year's Eve Memory

Happy New Year for all of you!
I know 2008 will bring all your wildest dreams.
2007 was an interesting year for me, anyway.

Every year, I always write my resolution. But this coming year, is a little different, cause I wrote my hopes and wishes in a firework. I know it's kinda odd, but I hope all my wishes will come true ^^