Saturday, May 31, 2008

Give It 2 Me

Here it comes M's new video: Give It 2 Me!!!!

How cool she is? I wish I can be like her in my 50s!!!! You RAWK!

Thursday, May 29, 2008


current mood : excited

One of my friend gave me a comment in my FS page, and she said, Gosh you've just celebrated your 5th year anniversary! And I was like, yup, it's such a long time that we've been together. I suddenly remember that she has given me a gift 5 years ago, which I still keep it on my desk. Here it is:

How adorable is that? I used to call my boyfriend "Dunkin" back then cos his school near Dunkin Donut's and his name begin with letter D. LOL. How idiot I was? That's very high-school-romance! LMAO.
Anyway, thanks again for the gift, cos it always remind me about our friendship and my high-school-moment. I've no idea that me and my boyfriend can stay together for 5 years in a row!

PS: Special thanks to my super adorable, cutie pie, and very creative mind : Nadia Ardiansyah

Saturday, May 24, 2008

thoughts for the day

Do you know what can we do to help others? No, you don't have to go to Africa to save AIDS epidemic there, or you don't have to go to China to evacuate earthquake's victim, even you don't have to spend millions of your money to orphanage. So what can we do?

None other than pray.

His sister told me that there was one thing which we can do easily and for free, but we often forgot about it. Pray. Sometimes we become very selfish, and always ask God about everything in our life. Contrary with other human being whom live far away or even close from us whom not as lucky as us. We have to send them a pray. Not just pray for ourselves, or for our family and friends, but also for other people in this world. People who suffering, people who needs our help. Although we can't give them money, and meet them in person and help them physically, but at least we can pray for them. And you know how big the power of a prayer is!
So what are you waiting for? Let's whisper our prays before we go to bed, and not forget to mention, how grateful and thankful we are, cos we can still breath this air, and blessed by God, and guess what? We can still sit here and write our blog!

Spread the word!

Friday, May 23, 2008


Ames with her daddy n mommy

current mood : praying

PLEASE God. Don't let her die!! Judges of the prestigious awards for song-writer in British, Ivor Novello Awards, had awarded her song Love Is A Losing Game for "Best Song of The Year".
And this is one of my fave Amy's performance for Love Is A Losing Game..

Thursday, May 22, 2008

my blog

Hello again!! For everyone who read my blog and for the newbie, WELCOME!
Really appreciate your visit. Feel free to leave your comment in my blog!! Enjoy your stay!

big smile from this girl next door :)

born to be narcissism

CLICK HERE! to see my newest photo-shoot session
CLICK HERE! to see my newest photo-shoot session
CLICK HERE! to see my newest photo-shoot session
CLICK HERE! to see my newest photo-shoot session
CLICK HERE! to see my newest photo-shoot session
CLICK HERE! to see my newest photo-shoot session


Actually I'm not posting all of them (6 outta 13), otherwise there'd be someone who ready to kill me! LOL. Yup you're right. My boyfriend.
However, I pretty love my pictures there, since my face still recognizable, and I think, the photo-shopper didn't do much edit in my photos.

Look how narcissism I was!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

i heard love is blind

current mood : ?%$#%@^@

I'm not feeling well today as I always think about him. But there's something wrong between us. No, actually there's something wrong with me. After all five + years being in a relationship with him, this is the first (and the worst) feeling I've ever feel for him. I don't know why and what's going on with me, but I just feel a little bored and tired with this relationship. My Daddy once said that I've to talk about everything to him, mostly about our future cos he sees us that we're getting serious day after day. Cos he doesn't want his children commit a divorce in the future. I know it seems odd, considering I'm not going to marry anytime soon. But I tried it anyway.

I thought that's pretty important, and I've pay much attention for this. So I was trying to talk with him not directly of course (I'm not THAT idiot). And you know what, there were LOADS disagreement between us. YES. After many years, I realize that there are many things that maybe I will not like if we umm.. tie the knot (!!!!). Our love life is a physical life. I never think about the other world beside it, even though they're exist. This is the right time to reconsider my future with him. I had a conversation about this before, and this was the worst and weirdest conversation I've ever had. I never knew what was coming our way. Do you think I've gone too far?

I do love him. You know that. Everyone know that.
But I think it's important to know what's inside and outside your partner. Do you think he's your best soulmate? Think again! I'm not about provoking anyone, but if you're serious with your partner, you better talk about your future. Sometimes it's haunting us and we act like we don't care and just say "let it flow" but we have to do that. It's better to talking about this now than never at all.

PS: Pray for me. I don't want this to end!! Hope I can get through this.

OST for the day : Adele - Chasing Pavement

I've made up my mind
don't need to think it over
if I'm wrong I am right
don't need to look no further
this ain't lust I know this is love

but if I tell the world
I'll never say enough
cos it was not said to you
and thats exactly what i need to do
if I end up with you

I build myself up
and fly around in circles
waiting as my heart drops
and my back begins to tingle
finally could this be it

should I give up
or should I just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads no where,
or would it be a waste
even if I knew my place should i leave it there.

update : but i heard love is B L I N D

Sunday, May 11, 2008

my future..

current mood : desperate

I've just woke up and suddenly I was thinking about my future. I'm very afraid now. Seems that I'm unable to handle it. Time goes by very fast and I don't think I use them properly. I mean, I'm a lazy girl (shame on me! Gosh I'm humiliating myself.). Now I'm in 6th semester and there are bunch things coming very soon. First, My final exam, which will come in about 1 month. Then MY FINAL THESIS which will start next semester. But most of all, there's one thing which really knock me up : my life after college.

What should I do after college? should I work for people, should I work for my Dad, should I open my own store? actually there are so many things that I can do. but the problem is, I'm not sure bout my own ability. So this things goes little confusing.. While the clock will always go tic toc tic toc.. And I'm standing still. poor Me! Desperately need help!

Honestly, I can't make a wrong decision because I'm not alone. I have one little brother (5) and one little sister (15). Who would they lean on except me? My older brothers will be married in the next 2 years. And I don't want bother them.. I never will. My father slowly but sure is getting old too, and will retired from his job. And ready or not, I must replace him. It's complicated here..

huh. If I be an employee and work as accounting, can I live my family? Since y'all know how low the general salary here for the fresh-graduate and not-so- smart girl like me.

If I work at My Dad, I must handle such a big factory and I've a huge responsibility to make his factory alive and AT LEAST as good as when he handle it.

If I build my own store, it'll need a lot money to buy a place, to buy things, etc. I hate to say this, but the bigger equity, the bigger gain you'll get. So this option will need lots of cash!

What should I do?

PS :
to everyone who will married sooner or later : I suggest you to have children once in three years. Don't be like my family who have a family factor like this:
Intan (born July 2nd 1987)
Arlin (born January 23rd 1993)
Kenn (born June 15th 2003)

Learn from mistakes!
The eldest will hold a very huge responsibility in the next 20 years.. And it won't be EASY.

Life would never be easy. . For me.

update #1
Tips and Trick for an EASY LIFE:
marry a billionaire! and cash him out.


update #2
But dude, LIFE IS NOT that EASY.
and I don't want easy,
easy doesn't make you grow
easy doesn't make you think.

And I just thank God cos I've a man whom makes me think.

update #3
For God's sake, I'll never marry a billionaire just for my own purpose! I am not that CHEAP!

Thursday, May 8, 2008

thoughts for the day

current mood : silly thing!!

I found this very interesting, so I'll keep it in my blog!

Well.. I went to IP (shopping mall in my home town), with my bf. We had our lunch there. Our eyes were on one child, he's a boy and around 11. He was sitting alone in front of us with his gadgets. (Laptop, high-end cell phone, and mp3 player). He surfed the net by his laptop, but strangely, he seemed to hide his laptop from everyone around him. So he kept it very close to him, and kept the laptop half-closed! He was so busy calling his friends, looked at his watch, and then starting to make a call again, checked out his laptop. Just like a mini-businessman. But I wonder what the hell was behind the laptop? LOL. I couldn't help but laugh. I'm not going to be rude, but I bet everyone would have same thoughts as mine. Maybe he want to hidden something from his laptop? That was very funny, I can't describe it in a word, but it was damn funny.
OMG He was so so so and too too too young to have such gadgets like that.

We have to admit that we need technology (of course!). But it causes pros and cons too. Especially for the case above. We don't know what our little sister or brother see in the net. Everything's possible now. Children can see what they shouldn't see at their age. Sex, races, criminal, etc. for example. Or even they can buy things with their Mom's credit card!

I'm not agree if there's a parent whom given away laptop or let their children to surf the net, or watch TV (just look at how CRAP our local TV show nowadays!). Extreme? No, cos I'm sure children will not miss a thing if they don't watch TV or surf the internet before their time. They should spend more time with reading books, or doing some outdoor activities and sports, also play interactive games in computer.

I really want to apply my "rules" to my little brother. I started to forbid him watch TV show which not suitable for his age, and so on. But unfortunately, my parents are very old-fashioned and still teach children in a wrong way (I think). Including ME! I'm their worst affection. Well, my parents, of course they're the best, they LOVE me but in a WRONG way. I finally realize it. As a child, I don't have a freedom of speech. I have to follow rules of their own, including their non-sense and over the top RULES (Really, I don't want to talk about this shizz).

Anyway, ss the wise man said, child is a gift from God (true), child just like a blank canvas, and it's a parent's duty to draw and color a beautiful "life" there (damn true). Such as behavior, knowledge, skill, ability, etc.

God what was I thinking? Give me a CHILD now! I think I'm ready to be a mother. LOL..

update #1
No, GOD. I'm just kidding! I'm not ready for having a child now. What should I teach them about life, while I don't know what the real meaning of life? Forgive me. Amen

update #2
But God, promise me that someday You will give me a child, when I ready. So can you teach me what the meaning of real life? Please?

me TO you

Remembering the very first time
You caught that someone special's eye
And all of your care dropped
And all of the world just stopped

Not having to say more than two words
and the other person instantly getting where you're coming from
It's a whole language of its own

We don't have to say anything to each other
We think alike.
One look from him and I know exactly what's going on in his head.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

strike a pose!

current mood : excited

I went to a photo studio near my campus with my friends.
Strike a POSE!
I wonder how I will look like after all that edited and photo-shopped. LOL. I can't believe that they can make someone's face totally unrecognizable and skinny!! Haha. But that's FAKE darling. Let's see what our face will look like. Wait until three weeks!

Monday, May 5, 2008

my weekend

current mood : OK.
Last Saturday I hang out with his mom and his sis. We were going to Kongo, had dinner there, and bought a plant. His Mom is biggest fan of plants. She grows many plants at her house. So, there was a gallery in Kongo (wood gallery) and it was freaking us out! DAYUM* !! Let's take the dining table for example. It made by wood, a teak. They just cut the very raw wood and voila "The most fascinating dining table (from wood) I've ever seen!". Although it's rough but very artistic. I want that I want that I want that! -- that words keep screaming on my mind! Later I knew that those words also screaming on their mind too!!) LOL. Anyway, it was fiercingly EXPENSIVE. Do you dare to buy a little computer desk for above 10M IDR? Get REAL!! Yup maybe I would buy it, if I were President's daughter, Donald Trump's wife, or Tiger Wood's sister (God it's impossible, I'm White!). LMAO. What we could do was just starring at all those art, with our mouths open (how hyperbole I am). Ha! But we could dream it! And let it be one of our motivator. Added to the wish list!!
This pictures have nothing to do with my "dining table" but it was fun!

*DAYUM (refers to DAMN, but read it more cute) LOL


me and my boy went to Hyatt to watched Mulan Jameela bitching around! You're right, it's a "Sweet Seventeen Birthday Party", and Mulan was there as a guest star. . I enjoyed her performance, even though I dislike her when she left Ratu, but I have admit that she was entertaining all of us. She sang around 8 songs and I couldn't help to follow her lyrics and did a lil' jump. (you know that around us were all SEVENTEEN). Felt like I was an old HAG. So I tried to be calmer. Pretty good night :) after all I've been through these several weeks.

Watched "IRON MAN". As y'all know, I'm not a huge fan of fiction movie (I'm more into horror, comedy, and thriller movie). But this movie was more than "OK". Now I know why this movie is a huge BOX OFFICE. The movie itself moved at a very good pace. Mixing action, comedy and some drama to just about the right proportions. As with most superhero movies, its rather predictable, but in all the right ways you'd want a superhero movie to be. The animation used was almost seamless, and of course the Iron Man costume was kicking major ass. While Robert Downey is not the biggest name in Hollywood, he plays the part perfectly and I was greatly impressed by how he portrayed Iron Man so well. Truly RECOMMENDED!

hard candy

name another near-fifty-year-old who can still rock a hot crotch shot on her album cover

current mood : DANCE

Got this album!! Finally, after a long waiting!! But this album really worth to wait. Not only because I'm M's huge fan, but this album also has a really good vibe, and I think it was made to set the mood. Cos every time you hear that, you don't want to just sit and stand still. But you'll go.. To the left.. To the right :) LOL. Just like she sang in "Give It 2 Me".
I basically love all tracks, but my highlights are :
  • 4 Minutes --> Loved it when the first time I heard that! Superb! Timbaland and JT gave a very nice touch for this song.
  • Candy Shop --> This track leaked all over internet months ago, and it was great! Really catchy. my sugar is raw, sticky and sweet.
  • Give It 2 Me --> Let me tell you now - it's mindblowingly amazing. There's cowbells, twinkles and all. This song will be 2nd single and the tune can't stop spins in your head!
  • Heartbeat --> Heartbeat has a synthy 80s sounding intro. It's the root where she came from, 80s dance music. This song grows every time I hear it.
  • Miles Away --> This song got a dreamy ending. The lyric pretty much told about the "long-distance relationship". Those three words are never enough, when it's long distance love. I guess we're at our best when we're miles away. Gotcha! You wrong! This is NOT a ballad.
  • Incredible --> picks up the disco-fundamentalist baton and flies with it into an enchanted cloudscape of Eighties pop candy floss. Loved IT!
  • She's Not Me --> blissfully heartfelt six minutes. Totally hypnotic. It starts with 4 claps and then all hell breaks loose. This is the tale of a jilted lover and has about 7 different elements. Very creative M. Pharell rap on the end of this song.
  • Beat Goes On --> (which features a Kanye West cameo) is one of a handful of tracks with bells and whistles — the classic disco "toot-toot, beep-beep". This song actually leaked months ago (came along with Candy Shop), but it got a lot of changes, and totally unrecognizable if compared with the demo version.
  • Devil Wouldn't Recognize You --> It's got a gorgeous sad, synth opener which is suddenly compounded by hypnotizing bleeps.
After all, I think this will be one of the most massive M's album. She worked with Timbaland, Justin, Danja, Pharell Williams, Kanye West. C'mmon get your copy now cos it's already available in all stores! Here's the preview :

Thursday, May 1, 2008

fuzzy dream

current mood : awful

I'm in my lowest. I can do nothing right. Feel empty.
I'm losing my God. Losing my "happy family" figure.
I'm losing my "real friends". I'm even losing my own self.

My life like shit.
Ignore me God.
But my life sucks.

I got nothing to do.
Nothing to achieve for.
I feel NUN.

LIVE my life!!
Wake me up.
From this fuzzy dream

Please help me I'm LOST.