i heard love is blind

current mood : ?%$#%@^@

I'm not feeling well today as I always think about him. But there's something wrong between us. No, actually there's something wrong with me. After all five + years being in a relationship with him, this is the first (and the worst) feeling I've ever feel for him. I don't know why and what's going on with me, but I just feel a little bored and tired with this relationship. My Daddy once said that I've to talk about everything to him, mostly about our future cos he sees us that we're getting serious day after day. Cos he doesn't want his children commit a divorce in the future. I know it seems odd, considering I'm not going to marry anytime soon. But I tried it anyway.

I thought that's pretty important, and I've pay much attention for this. So I was trying to talk with him not directly of course (I'm not THAT idiot). And you know what, there were LOADS disagreement between us. YES. After many years, I realize that there are many things that maybe I will not like if we umm.. tie the knot (!!!!). Our love life is a physical life. I never think about the other world beside it, even though they're exist. This is the right time to reconsider my future with him. I had a conversation about this before, and this was the worst and weirdest conversation I've ever had. I never knew what was coming our way. Do you think I've gone too far?

I do love him. You know that. Everyone know that.
But I think it's important to know what's inside and outside your partner. Do you think he's your best soulmate? Think again! I'm not about provoking anyone, but if you're serious with your partner, you better talk about your future. Sometimes it's haunting us and we act like we don't care and just say "let it flow" but we have to do that. It's better to talking about this now than never at all.

PS: Pray for me. I don't want this to end!! Hope I can get through this.

OST for the day : Adele - Chasing Pavement

I've made up my mind
don't need to think it over
if I'm wrong I am right
don't need to look no further
this ain't lust I know this is love

but if I tell the world
I'll never say enough
cos it was not said to you
and thats exactly what i need to do
if I end up with you

I build myself up
and fly around in circles
waiting as my heart drops
and my back begins to tingle
finally could this be it

should I give up
or should I just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads no where,
or would it be a waste
even if I knew my place should i leave it there.

update : but i heard love is B L I N D