current mood : DAZED and CONFUSED

What on earth am I here for?

I always think that I'm nothing. There's nothing I can do to make this world be a better place. I have nothing to be proud of. In fact, I always under-estimate myself. That I'm less talented, less pretty, less skinny, less smart, blah blah blah.. I don't know where this shit from, but a little bit more, this thought make me feel like "Yup, this is your REAL condition". Even though some said that I'm not like that. I thought that I'm not THAT bad, too.

Negativity. That's what I should deal with. I can't be anything I want if I can't delete my negativity aura from my mind. I keep telling myself that I'm nothing. But I don't have a strong will, that's true. URGH!! Seems like I fell in a same hole every time I try something new. For example, I was trying to cook, started to love it, and then left it. Bored. Yeah, I easily got bored. So I never achieve in what I do, if you know what I mean.

I have million dreams. But I can't bring those dreams into reality, cos I only have a dream, I'm not trying to reach my dream. I can't force myself harder. I have this power, I have this talent, but I don't use it. Shame on me to be such a person like that.

Is there anything I can do to change myself?