Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Exhale... Inhale..

Ok now.

I NEED to CALM down a bit.

I'm too busy thinking bout my future, my marriage, my jobs, and that's NOT even happen.

I'm just too "worry" about how things will done. I don't wanna fail, so does everyone. But I'm pushing myself too hard.. I'm a money slave, I'm money-minded now till I begin to lose myself. I'm working, as I do a lil business, side-work. All to have money. I can't believe this, I can't believe I'm in this phase.

It's so hard to live in such country, like my country. When money become a measure to all things.

In my country, at least in our tradition, a marriage means you have to waste a lot of money. For a fancy wedding party, for the stupid thing called pre-wedding (pre photoshoot-- more far more prestigious), for a house, and cars, and a business. Without those, a man can't marry a woman he loves.

I once read in a book, one man said, "in indonesia, if I want to marry a girl, I have to "marry" the rest of her family too". (The rest of family means the BIG family, not just ur mom and dad, but ur aunty, ur cousins, ur grandma, blah blah blah)

Can u imagine how complicated a man could be? He must have a lot of money, and he must approaching his girl's family until they agree!

Shit I can't believe I was born in this "ancient" country. I often jealous that some countries let a couple stay together in one flat without getting married. As long as they have responsible for themselves, so what's wrong with that? Even they can marry in a simple wedding back garden party. Or just have a ceremony in a church. That's all!

Now back to topic, what if I don't meet with rich guy? They won't let us to have a serious relationship? It never makes sense to me. Then life is truly unfair..

We've been through our 6.5 years together. For better for worse. I believe that "day" will come. Sooner or later, amen.

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!