Wednesday, August 13, 2008


current mood : still upset

Every children biggest dream would always be make their parents proud. Including me. But how?

Many whispers came to my ear that said, "Go ahead and find your place at your Dad's Co.", "Why wasting more time with useless job?", "Don't ever try to work in a -desperately-needing-investment Bank!", and blah and blah and blah.
Dude I really wanna show my Dad that I can earn myself money. Now my new car is on its way to my garage doesn't mean I'm fully happy. I mean, I feel very grateful with my Dad's present, but I realize that it will burden me. How long until I can earn my own money?

Let's rewind to two years ago, when my friends busy to get a part-time job. This "part-time job" means SPG (Sales Promotion Girl), or Bridesmaid (at someone else's wedding), or Wedding Organizer's crew. That's all we can do for our status as a under-graduate student. Nothing else more and nothing else better beside being an SPG, Bridesmaid, or WO's crew. SAD!!
My friends were like, hush hush, searched that kind of job, some of them got the job, and succeed to earn money. AND then I was trying to get my Dad's permission. When I asked him, he was going like, "NO F-in WAY! I never let my daughter being such a slave like that."
FYI, Being an SPG doesn't get a good image from people in general, it often refers to "bad girls", although NOT all SPG are bad, but their image seemed to be judged like that. OK I've admit that there several from them are bad, but it depends on what product they sell.
Once I ever lied to him to be a Bridesmaid (Flower Girl) behind his back (I thought Flower Girl was OK). But then he knew I did that, guess what, he was very very angry. We had a huge fight that night.

Got the point? My parents always forbid me from anything like that. It might be an expression to show that they love me. But you know, I feel like, I treated like a baby, always be a baby, although I'm 21!! Twenty one!!

Should I just follow his foot steps? Will it make them proud? Or should I stand alone, building my own career from big ZERO (just like my boyfriend did), without asking a penny from my parents?

I've had lack of sleep these recent days, seems my mind doesn't wanna stop to think about my future. My friends, even my bf told me that I should not be worry, cos everything would be OK with help from my parents. They said that I should be grateful cos I don't have to chase a formal-job, or work Mon-Fri, 9-5 behind desk at office.

Started from July 2nd 1987, until now... Have I make you proud?