Saturday, July 10, 2010

zit lady

I'm officially become ZITS lady. Apparently, my body and mind keep rejecting what had occured in these past year. My stress level finally taking its toll. I can't go on like this anymore. This is too frustrating. Thanks to them, now I'm having guests on my face. PIMPLES. They're daintily sit on my forehead, and right beside my nose. I hate myself everytime I look at the mirror. I don't mean to magnify it, I just... Still in shock.

Lucky me, I never have any problem with zit before, except in my puberty era many years ago where I was having them all over my face. But now, at 23, I have to face the truth that the zits wanted a reunion.

Why is it so hard to be a woman? One little tiny pimple can cause a very bad mood. Two lbs more when we stand at the scale make us stop eating. The point is, women always try to be attractive. Some even dare to take the highway road like going under the knife or botox injection, just to make them prettier, and parfait. But why all this matters? To look good? Maybe if we asked Heidi Montag about her recently over the top plastic surgery, she might answer, to be perfect. Isn't it pathetic when you can't be proud of nothing but your fake body & face?

When I looked down my reflection at the mirror, my boyfriend asked, "why are you so f up just because stupid pimples?", I answered, "don't all women? come on I'm in the majority club". Then he said, "I thought you're in minority. It's better to be different with others, isn't it?"
His unexpected words is suddenly zip my lip.

Minority. Differences. I realized that I'm not one of them.
Now I'm the pathetic zits lady.

I tried to remind myself when's the last time I feel proud of myself... and then, nothing's came., not one single thought. Have I been proud with myself? The goods that attached in my body hide the REAL fragile me. Who's behind the fierce leather jacket & boots? Just an empty self.
Despite long sexy killer legs, I secretly envy some talented women that can really use their brain & skill. Ones that never afraid to have pimples or facing the bad hair day, cos people already admire them. With or without pimples. They rule the world.

I, on the other hand, don't have any.
Now I'm the pathetic and mortified zits lady.

Could this be any worse?
I think I have to stop typing. Sorry... I know I shouldn't write when I'm in a terribly bad mood. But who else should I run to?

PS: Suddenly thinking about this song, my fave back in the years ago. TLC - Unpretty.